LIFE & MOTHERHOOD COACH FOR MAMAS IN MIDLIFE

Category: Motivation

  • Finding Your Authentic Voice After 50: The Difference Between Filtering for Care and Disappearing

    This was originally sent to my REDISCOVERY newsletter subscribers. If you’d like letters like this delivered to your inbox every Monday, you can sign up on the side panel.

    It’s Bank Holiday weekend here in the UK – it started with a trip to the seaside, some nursing work, and the particular pleasure of a quiet morning today with my milky coffee in my favourite mug.

    So today we’re talking about the power of speaking, of using your authentic voice.

    Because how we speak, to others and to ourselves, tells us who we currently are, and who we’re becoming.

    How many times do we speak inauthentically? It’s worth noticing – not as self-criticism, but as information. Are we just passing the time of day, or are we making a true connection? Are we saying what we mean, or a managed version of it?

    And then there’s how we speak to ourselves. That tone. Is it sharp? Is it kind? Is it fair? Because the way we talk to ourselves is the foundation everything else is built on.

    I filter. I know I do. Because I know people’s triggers and sensitivities – my children are sensitive, and I have to be careful about what I say and how I say it. But here’s what I’ve learned: that can still be authentic and loving. Filtering for care is different from filtering for self-erasure. One is thoughtfulness. The other is a slow disappearance, which I’ve experienced and have come back from.

    Sometimes we’ve edited how we speak just to keep the peace. Sometimes our anger speaks before we’re ready. Sometimes nervousness shows in a shaky voice, or a laugh that shouldn’t be there. We don’t need to perform. We just need to be truer.

    Sometimes I get this wrong. Sometimes I rush, or snap at my children, and immediately I regret it. Nothing good ever comes from it. And it usually happens when we’re running late, when I’m tired, when I’ve got too many things in my head at once. It always ends with an apology from me and a reminder to myself to learn.

    On the whole, I have learnt. Just by taking a bit more time. Just by knowing that rushing simply does not work for me. That pause, that extra breath, is where the authentic version lives.

    Speaking the truth can change your life. Speaking, discussing, not keeping your true feelings locked inside but letting them out in a considered way leads to alignment, and to peace. It can be hard. Others might not want to hear what you have to say. But in the end, it has to be said. So that you can be free.

    I’m still practising this. Some weeks I get it right – I say the true thing and it feels like a relief, like something unclenching. Other weeks I notice, ten minutes after a conversation, that I gave the managed version instead. And I think: next time. We have to learn. And we have to give ourselves grace.

    This week’s practice:

    Notice how you speak to someone this week:

    • Am I speaking authentically, or giving the managed version?
    • What feeling am I conveying? Is it the one I actually want to convey?
    • How am I speaking to myself today – is it with love?

    How you speak, how you use your voice – it’s one of the most powerful tools you have. It is a path back to yourself.

    With love and best wishes always, Susy

    P.S. When was the last time you said something and thought – yes, that was exactly right, that was actually me? Hit reply. I’d love to hear it.

    Ready to go deeper?

    FREE RESOURCES FOR YOU:

    What Do I Really Want? Your 5-Step Action Plan — for when you’ve lost touch with your own desires

    Get Your Spark Back Guide — small, practical ways to feel like yourself again

    Rediscover Your Values Workbook — get clear on what actually matters to you now

    All on my website: www.susyrosemary.com

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    by

    Susy Rosemary
    in , , , , ,

    This was originally sent to my REDISCOVERY newsletter subscribers. If you’d like letters like this delivered to your inbox every Monday, you can sign up on the side panel. It’s Bank Holiday weekend here in the UK – it started with a trip to the seaside, some nursing work, and the particular pleasure of a…

  • Make Time for You (Without the Guilt)

    You know that feeling — work, family, building something for you… and somehow you still end up last on the list.

    Lately I’ve been learning something the hard way:

    If I don’t make time for what matters to me, I lose part of myself.

    And there is no need to feel guilty for making time for yourself.

    Because this is your life. And the years? They pass quickly.

    Last week I almost cancelled my gym membership. I only started at the end of December, and I had that familiar thought loop:

    Am I using it enough?
    Is it worth it?
    It’s not just the one-hour class — it’s the time before and after too.

    And then the verdict arrived, loud and judgey:

    “I should cancel. I don’t have time for this. There are more important things.”

    That word: important.

    As if my wants don’t count as important. Seriously.

    My needs are important.

    I nearly cancelled… but then I stopped and asked myself:

    Why doesn’t this count as important?

    Why is it that when my son needs help, that’s important?
    When someone else asks for my time, that’s important?

    But when I want something — just for me, just because it makes me happy — it’s not?

    So I went to the Pilates class again.

    I laughed at the aches in my arms and legs. I enjoyed the teacher’s jokes. And I took two hours for a one-hour class.

    The work waited.

    And when I came home, I felt lighter. More myself. More able to show up for everything else… because I’d shown up for me first.

    Here’s what we’re never told:

    Making time for yourself isn’t selfish. It’s how you stay whole.

    When you only ever give — when you never refill — you don’t become some saintly superwoman.

    You become depleted.
    Resentful.
    Disconnected from who you are.

    You become someone who exists only in relation to other people’s needs.

    And that’s not sustainable. It’s not even kind — to them or to you.

    Making time for what matters to you isn’t taking away from anyone else.

    It’s making sure you’re still you when you look in the mirror.

    A woman with interests. Wants. Preferences.
    A life beyond being useful.

    Maybe you’ve been doing what I almost did:

    Cancelling the things that matter to you because they feel “less important” than everything else.

    Telling yourself you’ll get to it later. Someday. When there’s more time.

    Except… there’s never more time.

    There’s just now.
    And the choice to make time for yourself.

    This week’s practice

    Block one hour this week for something you want.

    Not something productive.
    Not something for someone else.
    Just something that matters to you.

    • Read a book just for pleasure
    • Go somewhere you’ve wanted to go
    • Spend time on a hobby you’ve been ignoring
    • Do absolutely nothing and call it rest

    Make the time. Protect it.

    Because you, my friend, are worthy of your own time and attention.

    —

    by

    Susy Rosemary
    in , , , , , ,

    You know that feeling — work, family, building something for you… and somehow you still end up last on the list. Lately I’ve been learning something the hard way: If I don’t make time for what matters to me, I lose part of myself. And there is no need to feel guilty for making time…

  • How to Rediscover Old Passions After 50 (Even When Life Gets in the Way)

    Hello,

    This week is about rediscovering old passions we’ve forgotten. How’s it going for you?

    Maybe you’ve been thinking about something you used to love. But then the obstacles show up.

    Childcare. Who to go with. Will it even be worth it?

    And suddenly that small thing you wanted feels too complicated. So you let it go. Again.

    Here’s what I’m learning: the obstacles will always be there.

    There will always be a reason it’s not convenient. Always someone who can’t join you. Always a voice asking “is it really worth the effort?”

    But you know really that you don’t need perfect conditions to revisit what you love.

    You just need to decide it matters.

    I used to love theatre. Acting, live performance, getting completely lost in a story. But I haven’t acted or even been to see a play in years.

    This week I’m booking a ticket for next Friday, and I’m going. My husband’s away. My best friend’s on a cruise.

    But I’m going anyway. Even if I go alone.

    Because revisiting what you love doesn’t have to be grand, or some big adventure. It just has to happen.

    Today’s Action:

    This week: Revisit one old passion.

    Not perfectly. Not with ideal circumstances.

    Just do it. Even if you go alone. Even if it’s small. Even if it feels complicated.

    That’s how rediscovery starts—with one imperfect step. It’s still a step.

    With love and best wishes,
    Susy

    P.S. What’s one old passion you could revisit this week? Hit reply – I read every response.

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    by

    Susy Rosemary
    in , , ,

    Hello, This week is about rediscovering old passions we’ve forgotten. How’s it going for you? Maybe you’ve been thinking about something you used to love. But then the obstacles show up. Childcare. Who to go with. Will it even be worth it? And suddenly that small thing you wanted feels too complicated. So you let…

  • The Things You Forgot You Loved: Rediscovering the Passions That Got Buried

    Hello,

    How are you? I hope you are well!

    I’ve been thinking about the things we forget. Not the important things—we remember plenty of those. But the small passions. The hobbies we used to love. The things that made us feel alive before life got so busy.

    The Music Books in the Loft

    Last week, I was sorting through some boxes in the loft. And I spotted my old music books—songs I used to play, back when I was living with my friends at uni. We’d take it in turns to sing and play at the piano and have such a laugh. Before family life, kids, homework, parents needing help, work, health issues…

    I remembered those happy times, spending hours at the piano or playing the flute. I would just forget about everything else.

    When did that all stop? I couldn’t even remember exactly. Life just got busy.

    But those passions haven’t disappeared. They just got a little lost under everything else. Under “I don’t have time for that anymore.” Under “that’s not important right now, there are more urgent things.”

    They’re Still There, Waiting

    But they still make me smile just thinking about them. They’re waiting for me and I’m so looking forward to getting back to them.

    In fact, I’ve just picked up a leaflet to join a monthly Tango band. Could be fun.

    Maybe for you it’s not music. Maybe it’s painting. Writing. Dancing. Gardening. Reading for pleasure instead of self-improvement. Cooking something just because you enjoy it.

    Those passions that you said you’d get back to “someday, when I have more time.”

    Except someday hasn’t arrived yet. Because there’s always something more urgent. Someone who needs you. Something that has to be done.

    But Here’s the Truth

    Those passions weren’t frivolous.

    They are you.

    The part of you that exists beyond being useful, needed, responsible. The part that existed just because it brought you joy.

    That part is still there.

    And it matters more than you think.

    Why We Let Our Passions Go

    For women over 50, this is especially painful to recognise.

    We spent decades being told—sometimes directly, sometimes not—that our joy wasn’t the priority. That other people’s needs came first. That hobbies were luxuries. That productivity was what mattered.

    So we quietly let our passions go. One by one. Without even noticing.

    The piano gathered dust. The paintbrushes dried out. The dancing shoes stayed in the back of the wardrobe.

    And somewhere along the way, we forgot what it felt like to do something purely because it made us feel alive.

    It’s Not Too Late

    But here’s the beautiful thing: those passions don’t disappear. They just wait.

    They’re there in the music books in the loft. In the leaflet for the Tango band. In the half-finished novel. In the garden you used to love but haven’t touched in years.

    They’re waiting for you to come back to them.

    And you don’t need hours. You don’t need permission. You don’t need to “find the time.”

    You just need 15 minutes. And a choice.

    This Week’s Practice

    Name 3 things you used to love before life got busy that made you feel alive and happy.

    • What hobby did you abandon when “real life” started?
    • What passion got buried under everything else?
    • What made you lose track of time?

    And then just choose one. One passion to revisit this week.

    Make time for it, even if it’s just 15 minutes.

    Let the magic happen.

    I’d love to hear your thoughts. Leave a comment below or hit reply—I read every single one.

    With love and best wishes always, Susy

    P.S. What’s one thing you used to love that you forgot about? Hit reply—I’d love to hear. 💛

    💌 If this resonated with you, it might resonate with someone you know. Feel free to forward it.

    —

    by

    Susy Rosemary
    in , , ,

    Hello, How are you? I hope you are well! I’ve been thinking about the things we forget. Not the important things—we remember plenty of those. But the small passions. The hobbies we used to love. The things that made us feel alive before life got so busy. The Music Books in the Loft Last week,…

  • Don’t Wait to Feel Like It: Motivation for Women Over 50

    Starting over at 50 means learning to trust yourself again—even when you don’t feel ready.

    How are you? I hope you’re well.

    This week is about starting something new as a woman over 50.

    I started something new yesterday—I went to the gym and did a Pilates class.

    I did not want to go. It was raining. I was happy doing some work at home. But I do want to feel great. I do want to feel strong.

    So I went. And I’m so glad I did. I felt muscles I didn’t know existed. Everyone was friendly. I felt like part of something positive and progressive.

    Building Confidence in Your 50s: Don’t Wait to Feel Motivated

    Here’s what I learned about motivation for women over 50: Don’t wait to FEEL like you want to do something. Do it anyway.

    I didn’t feel like going at all. But I knew I would feel good afterwards. That’s self-trust for women over 50. That’s knowing: if you do X, you’ll feel Y.

    Starting over at 50 often means not taking the easy option.

    The easy option would have been to stay home and say, “I’ll wait for another day.” It would have been easy to carry on with what I was doing.

    But by going, I became part of something. I was inspired by every single person there—men, women, of all different ages and body shapes.

    Overcoming Resistance: A Practice for Women Over 50

    When you next don’t feel like doing something that you know you actually want to do… do it anyway.

    Beat that voice inside your head that’s discouraging you. Yes, it can be loud.

    Be your own best friend. Do the right thing. One step at a time. One day at a time.

    This is how women over 50 build confidence—not by waiting for motivation, but by trusting yourself enough to take action first.

    Your Turn: Taking Action in Midlife

    What’s one thing you’ve been putting off that you know would make you feel good?

    For women over 50 who are starting over, the secret isn’t feeling ready. It’s trusting yourself enough to begin.

    With love and best wishes always,
    Susy

    —

    by

    Susy Rosemary
    in , ,

    Starting over at 50 means learning to trust yourself again—even when you don’t feel ready. How are you? I hope you’re well. This week is about starting something new as a woman over 50. I started something new yesterday—I went to the gym and did a Pilates class. I did not want to go. It…