LIFE & MOTHERHOOD COACH FOR MAMAS IN MIDLIFE

Tag: midlife rediscovery

  • When I Chose Coffee Over a Night Shift (And Why It Mattered)

    I want to check in with you.

    Did you get to prioritise yourself this week?
    Did you do something just for you?

    Writing these reflections means I get to look honestly at my own rediscovery too. And this week, I made a decision that felt small… but wasn’t.

    The Dilemma

    I have a group of five friends. We’ve known each other since toddler group — and now our children are in their twenties.

    We’ve been through everything together:

    • Babies and school gates
    • Divorce and heartbreak
    • Illness and bereavement
    • Reinvention and rebuilding

    Over twenty years of showing up for each other.

    One of the gang moved six hours North. I haven’t seen her in over a year. She’s coming back down South this week and we’ve booked a table at our favourite café.

    But I was meant to work a night shift the evening before.

    And I know myself now.

    After a night shift, I can’t simply “push through.” I would have gone home, slept all day, and missed it.

    The old version of me would have said:
    Work comes first.

    The old version of me would have cancelled coffee.

    What I Did

    I cancelled the shift.

    I gave up paid work for coffee with a friend.

    And yes — a small part of me felt guilty.

    That whisper that says:

    • You should be earning.
    • You should be sensible.
    • You shouldn’t give up income.

    But I knew straight away I’d made the right decision.

    Work can wait. I can book another shift.

    This moment cannot be recreated.

    Friendship is a gift. A connection that takes years — decades — to build. It deserves to be protected.

    I can’t wait. It’s tomorrow.

    What This Reminded Me

    For so many of us women over 50, we’ve spent decades putting work, family, and everyone else’s needs ahead of our own joy.

    We prioritise:

    • Other people’s schedules
    • Other people’s comfort
    • Other people’s needs

    And somewhere along the way, we quietly downgrade our own happiness.

    We feel guilty choosing something that’s simply for us.

    But here’s what I’m learning:

    Choosing yourself isn’t selfish.
    It’s essential.

    When I cancelled that shift, I wasn’t being irresponsible.

    I was recognising that my friendships, my connections, my happiness matter just as much as my obligations.

    Maybe more.

    Money can be earned again.

    Moments can’t.

    This Week’s Reflection

    Let me gently ask you:

    • What have you been putting off “until later” that actually matters now?
    • Where are you choosing obligation over joy out of habit — not necessity?
    • What would change if you gave yourself permission to prioritise what lifts you up?

    Awareness comes first.

    Then change.

    And sometimes change looks like something very simple.

    Like coffee.

    With love and best wishes always,
    Susy

    —

    by

    Susy Rosemary
    in ,

    I want to check in with you. Did you get to prioritise yourself this week?Did you do something just for you? Writing these reflections means I get to look honestly at my own rediscovery too. And this week, I made a decision that felt small… but wasn’t. The Dilemma I have a group of five…

  • The Things You Forgot You Loved: Rediscovering the Passions That Got Buried

    Hello,

    How are you? I hope you are well!

    I’ve been thinking about the things we forget. Not the important things—we remember plenty of those. But the small passions. The hobbies we used to love. The things that made us feel alive before life got so busy.

    The Music Books in the Loft

    Last week, I was sorting through some boxes in the loft. And I spotted my old music books—songs I used to play, back when I was living with my friends at uni. We’d take it in turns to sing and play at the piano and have such a laugh. Before family life, kids, homework, parents needing help, work, health issues…

    I remembered those happy times, spending hours at the piano or playing the flute. I would just forget about everything else.

    When did that all stop? I couldn’t even remember exactly. Life just got busy.

    But those passions haven’t disappeared. They just got a little lost under everything else. Under “I don’t have time for that anymore.” Under “that’s not important right now, there are more urgent things.”

    They’re Still There, Waiting

    But they still make me smile just thinking about them. They’re waiting for me and I’m so looking forward to getting back to them.

    In fact, I’ve just picked up a leaflet to join a monthly Tango band. Could be fun.

    Maybe for you it’s not music. Maybe it’s painting. Writing. Dancing. Gardening. Reading for pleasure instead of self-improvement. Cooking something just because you enjoy it.

    Those passions that you said you’d get back to “someday, when I have more time.”

    Except someday hasn’t arrived yet. Because there’s always something more urgent. Someone who needs you. Something that has to be done.

    But Here’s the Truth

    Those passions weren’t frivolous.

    They are you.

    The part of you that exists beyond being useful, needed, responsible. The part that existed just because it brought you joy.

    That part is still there.

    And it matters more than you think.

    Why We Let Our Passions Go

    For women over 50, this is especially painful to recognise.

    We spent decades being told—sometimes directly, sometimes not—that our joy wasn’t the priority. That other people’s needs came first. That hobbies were luxuries. That productivity was what mattered.

    So we quietly let our passions go. One by one. Without even noticing.

    The piano gathered dust. The paintbrushes dried out. The dancing shoes stayed in the back of the wardrobe.

    And somewhere along the way, we forgot what it felt like to do something purely because it made us feel alive.

    It’s Not Too Late

    But here’s the beautiful thing: those passions don’t disappear. They just wait.

    They’re there in the music books in the loft. In the leaflet for the Tango band. In the half-finished novel. In the garden you used to love but haven’t touched in years.

    They’re waiting for you to come back to them.

    And you don’t need hours. You don’t need permission. You don’t need to “find the time.”

    You just need 15 minutes. And a choice.

    This Week’s Practice

    Name 3 things you used to love before life got busy that made you feel alive and happy.

    • What hobby did you abandon when “real life” started?
    • What passion got buried under everything else?
    • What made you lose track of time?

    And then just choose one. One passion to revisit this week.

    Make time for it, even if it’s just 15 minutes.

    Let the magic happen.

    I’d love to hear your thoughts. Leave a comment below or hit reply—I read every single one.

    With love and best wishes always, Susy

    P.S. What’s one thing you used to love that you forgot about? Hit reply—I’d love to hear. 💛

    💌 If this resonated with you, it might resonate with someone you know. Feel free to forward it.

    —

    by

    Susy Rosemary
    in , , ,

    Hello, How are you? I hope you are well! I’ve been thinking about the things we forget. Not the important things—we remember plenty of those. But the small passions. The hobbies we used to love. The things that made us feel alive before life got so busy. The Music Books in the Loft Last week,…