I want to check in with you.
Did you get to prioritise yourself this week?
Did you do something just for you?
Writing these reflections means I get to look honestly at my own rediscovery too. And this week, I made a decision that felt small… but wasn’t.
The Dilemma
I have a group of five friends. We’ve known each other since toddler group — and now our children are in their twenties.
We’ve been through everything together:
- Babies and school gates
- Divorce and heartbreak
- Illness and bereavement
- Reinvention and rebuilding
Over twenty years of showing up for each other.
One of the gang moved six hours North. I haven’t seen her in over a year. She’s coming back down South this week and we’ve booked a table at our favourite café.
But I was meant to work a night shift the evening before.
And I know myself now.
After a night shift, I can’t simply “push through.” I would have gone home, slept all day, and missed it.
The old version of me would have said:
Work comes first.
The old version of me would have cancelled coffee.
What I Did
I cancelled the shift.
I gave up paid work for coffee with a friend.
And yes — a small part of me felt guilty.
That whisper that says:
- You should be earning.
- You should be sensible.
- You shouldn’t give up income.
But I knew straight away I’d made the right decision.
Work can wait. I can book another shift.
This moment cannot be recreated.
Friendship is a gift. A connection that takes years — decades — to build. It deserves to be protected.
I can’t wait. It’s tomorrow.
What This Reminded Me
For so many of us women over 50, we’ve spent decades putting work, family, and everyone else’s needs ahead of our own joy.
We prioritise:
- Other people’s schedules
- Other people’s comfort
- Other people’s needs
And somewhere along the way, we quietly downgrade our own happiness.
We feel guilty choosing something that’s simply for us.
But here’s what I’m learning:
Choosing yourself isn’t selfish.
It’s essential.
When I cancelled that shift, I wasn’t being irresponsible.
I was recognising that my friendships, my connections, my happiness matter just as much as my obligations.
Maybe more.
Money can be earned again.
Moments can’t.
This Week’s Reflection
Let me gently ask you:
- What have you been putting off “until later” that actually matters now?
- Where are you choosing obligation over joy out of habit — not necessity?
- What would change if you gave yourself permission to prioritise what lifts you up?
Awareness comes first.
Then change.
And sometimes change looks like something very simple.
Like coffee.
With love and best wishes always,
Susy