You know that feeling — work, family, building something for you… and somehow you still end up last on the list.
Lately I’ve been learning something the hard way:
If I don’t make time for what matters to me, I lose part of myself.
And there is no need to feel guilty for making time for yourself.
Because this is your life. And the years? They pass quickly.
Last week I almost cancelled my gym membership. I only started at the end of December, and I had that familiar thought loop:
Am I using it enough?
Is it worth it?
It’s not just the one-hour class — it’s the time before and after too.
And then the verdict arrived, loud and judgey:
“I should cancel. I don’t have time for this. There are more important things.”
That word: important.
As if my wants don’t count as important. Seriously.
My needs are important.
I nearly cancelled… but then I stopped and asked myself:
Why doesn’t this count as important?
Why is it that when my son needs help, that’s important?
When someone else asks for my time, that’s important?
But when I want something — just for me, just because it makes me happy — it’s not?
So I went to the Pilates class again.
I laughed at the aches in my arms and legs. I enjoyed the teacher’s jokes. And I took two hours for a one-hour class.
The work waited.
And when I came home, I felt lighter. More myself. More able to show up for everything else… because I’d shown up for me first.
Here’s what we’re never told:
Making time for yourself isn’t selfish. It’s how you stay whole.
When you only ever give — when you never refill — you don’t become some saintly superwoman.
You become depleted.
Resentful.
Disconnected from who you are.
You become someone who exists only in relation to other people’s needs.
And that’s not sustainable. It’s not even kind — to them or to you.
Making time for what matters to you isn’t taking away from anyone else.
It’s making sure you’re still you when you look in the mirror.
A woman with interests. Wants. Preferences.
A life beyond being useful.
Maybe you’ve been doing what I almost did:
Cancelling the things that matter to you because they feel “less important” than everything else.
Telling yourself you’ll get to it later. Someday. When there’s more time.
Except… there’s never more time.
There’s just now.
And the choice to make time for yourself.
This week’s practice
Block one hour this week for something you want.
Not something productive.
Not something for someone else.
Just something that matters to you.
- Read a book just for pleasure
- Go somewhere you’ve wanted to go
- Spend time on a hobby you’ve been ignoring
- Do absolutely nothing and call it rest
Make the time. Protect it.
Because you, my friend, are worthy of your own time and attention.