Hello,
How are you today? I hope you are well.
If you’ve ever felt angry and immediately pushed it down, this is for you.
I had a moment this week that caught me off guard. I was talking to someone when I was interrupted mid-sentence. Not the first time, unfortunately.
But this time, I felt the anger. I let myself notice it. I didn’t lash out, there would be no point. But I noticed it and I was going to use this experience for some learning because I’ve had enough of not being heard fully.
Later on, I thought: What is this anger trying to tell me?
The anger you’re not supposed to feel…
For women over 50, anger is complicated.
We were taught that anger makes you “difficult.” That nice women don’t get angry – they stay calm, understanding, always patient.
So when anger shows up, you might:
- Push it down immediately
- Feel guilty for feeling it
- Apologize for being “too emotional”
- Convince yourself you’re overreacting
But that anger is information on what is not aligned in your life.
Maternal anger shows that anger serves four critical functions and one of them is Voice Reclamation.
Anger as a signal
When you’ve spent years staying quiet to keep the peace, anger becomes a signal that your voice needs reclaiming.
The anger isn’t the problem – it’s pointing to the problem which is actually really useful!
It’s saying:
- “This isn’t okay anymore.”
- “I’ve been dismissed too many times.”
- “My voice matters too.”
- “I’m done being talked over.”
- “I won’t stay silent to keep everyone else comfortable.”
In my case, the anger that rose when I was interrupted wasn’t random. It was quite normal. I know what it’s like being talked over, dismissed, and treated like my experience as a highly trained nurse, mother, and woman with 20+ years of expertise doesn’t matter.
Excuse me, I matter. We all matter.
The anger was telling me: It’s time to reclaim your voice and I’m not tolerating this anymore.
What anger reveals…
Think about the last time you felt angry.
Now ask: What was happening right before that?
For many women over 50, anger shows up when:
- Someone dismisses what you just said
- Your needs are treated as optional while everyone else’s are urgent
- You’re expected to accommodate but receive no accommodation in return
- Someone speaks for you or over you
- Your expertise is questioned by someone with less experience
- You’re told you’re “too sensitive” when you point out something unfair
What is your anger trying to tell you? Use it as information.
Reclaiming your voice through anger…
Here’s the shift: Anger isn’t something to suppress or apologize for.
Anger is data and it’s pointing you toward where your voice needs to be heard.
When I felt that anger, it was telling me: “You deserve to finish your sentences. You deserve to be heard. Your voice matters.”
Later that day, I went back to him. Calm. Clear. “When you interrupted me earlier, I wasn’t finished making my point. In the future, I’d appreciate if you’d let me complete my thoughts without interrupting and listen instead. And I will be completing them from now on.”
Was it comfortable? No. But change isn’t always comfortable.
The anger had shown me something true: My voice had been taken and I wanted to reclaim it…I had to reclaim it to honour my own being.
This week’s practice:
Track your anger this week.
When you feel angry (even a flash of irritation), pause and ask:
What is this anger trying to tell me?
Specifically:
- Where is my voice being silenced right now?
- What boundary has been crossed?
- What truth do I want to speak?
Your anger is information. Let it guide you.
Want more support in reclaiming your voice? Download my free Rediscover Your Values Workbook to get clear on what truly matters to you.
With love and best wishes always,
Susy