LIFE & MOTHERHOOD COACH FOR MAMAS IN MIDLIFE

Category: Happiness

  • Make Time for You (Without the Guilt)

    You know that feeling — work, family, building something for you… and somehow you still end up last on the list.

    Lately I’ve been learning something the hard way:

    If I don’t make time for what matters to me, I lose part of myself.

    And there is no need to feel guilty for making time for yourself.

    Because this is your life. And the years? They pass quickly.

    Last week I almost cancelled my gym membership. I only started at the end of December, and I had that familiar thought loop:

    Am I using it enough?
    Is it worth it?
    It’s not just the one-hour class — it’s the time before and after too.

    And then the verdict arrived, loud and judgey:

    “I should cancel. I don’t have time for this. There are more important things.”

    That word: important.

    As if my wants don’t count as important. Seriously.

    My needs are important.

    I nearly cancelled… but then I stopped and asked myself:

    Why doesn’t this count as important?

    Why is it that when my son needs help, that’s important?
    When someone else asks for my time, that’s important?

    But when I want something — just for me, just because it makes me happy — it’s not?

    So I went to the Pilates class again.

    I laughed at the aches in my arms and legs. I enjoyed the teacher’s jokes. And I took two hours for a one-hour class.

    The work waited.

    And when I came home, I felt lighter. More myself. More able to show up for everything else… because I’d shown up for me first.

    Here’s what we’re never told:

    Making time for yourself isn’t selfish. It’s how you stay whole.

    When you only ever give — when you never refill — you don’t become some saintly superwoman.

    You become depleted.
    Resentful.
    Disconnected from who you are.

    You become someone who exists only in relation to other people’s needs.

    And that’s not sustainable. It’s not even kind — to them or to you.

    Making time for what matters to you isn’t taking away from anyone else.

    It’s making sure you’re still you when you look in the mirror.

    A woman with interests. Wants. Preferences.
    A life beyond being useful.

    Maybe you’ve been doing what I almost did:

    Cancelling the things that matter to you because they feel “less important” than everything else.

    Telling yourself you’ll get to it later. Someday. When there’s more time.

    Except… there’s never more time.

    There’s just now.
    And the choice to make time for yourself.

    This week’s practice

    Block one hour this week for something you want.

    Not something productive.
    Not something for someone else.
    Just something that matters to you.

    • Read a book just for pleasure
    • Go somewhere you’ve wanted to go
    • Spend time on a hobby you’ve been ignoring
    • Do absolutely nothing and call it rest

    Make the time. Protect it.

    Because you, my friend, are worthy of your own time and attention.

    —

    by

    Susy Rosemary
    in , , , , , ,

    You know that feeling — work, family, building something for you… and somehow you still end up last on the list. Lately I’ve been learning something the hard way: If I don’t make time for what matters to me, I lose part of myself. And there is no need to feel guilty for making time…

  • The Cake That Didn’t Win: Finding Joy in the Ordinary Chaos of Life

    Hello,

    How are you? I hope you’re well.

    This week I want to share a story about small joys. And it starts with a chocolate cake.

    The School Cake Competition

    My son’s school had a cake competition to raise funds. We made a chocolate cake covered in smarties—full of colour and jolliness.

    It didn’t win but the slices sold out in minutes.

    And you know what? There were joys everywhere.

    The Small Joys I Almost Missed

    Making the cake with my 8-year-old the night before. Yes, there was mess. Yes, there was flour on the floor and butter icing on the counter. But we laughed. We tasted the icing straight from the bowl. We made something together.

    I could have been stressed about the mess. I could have worried about whether our cake would win. I could have said “not tonight, I’m too tired.”

    But I didn’t. And because of that, I got to experience something beautiful: being present with my son. Creating something together. Not worrying about perfection.

    The Girl With 50p

    At the cake sale, one girl came to the stall with only 50p. Each slice was £1.

    I said, “Don’t worry, choose one. I’ll pay for the other 50p.”

    Her face lit up. That moment—that tiny, ordinary moment—was just joy.

    Not because I was being a hero. Not because it was a grand gesture. But because in that moment, a small act of kindness created a ripple of happiness for both of us.

    What Small Joys Really Are

    For women over 50, we’ve been taught that joy comes from the big things. The promotions. The milestones. The achievements.

    But what if joy isn’t about the big things at all?

    What if it’s about:

    • Making a cake with your child on a Tuesday night
    • Eating butter icing straight from the bowl
    • Helping a little girl get the cake slice she wanted
    • The mayhem of a busy cake sale
    • Eating someone else’s delicious cake afterwards

    None of this was Instagram-worthy. None of it was a “win.”

    But it was joy and happiness.

    Small Joys Aren’t the Extras—They ARE Life

    The big things change your trajectory. Absolutely.

    The new job. The house move. The life-changing decision.

    But the small things? They make up every single day.

    And when you start noticing them—really noticing them—life starts feeling different.

    Not because everything is perfect. But because you’re finally paying attention to what’s already here.

    The laughter. The mess. The kindness. The chaos. The sweetness.

    All of it.

    Your Turn

    What small joy did you notice this week?

    Was it:

    • A conversation that made you laugh?
    • The way the morning light came through your window?
    • A moment of quiet with your tea?
    • Someone’s unexpected kindness?

    I’d love to hear. Leave a comment below or hit reply—I read every response.

    With love and best wishes always, Susy

    P.S. The cake was delicious. Even if it didn’t win. 😊

    —

    by

    Susy Rosemary
    in , , , , ,

    Hello, How are you? I hope you’re well. This week I want to share a story about small joys. And it starts with a chocolate cake. The School Cake Competition My son’s school had a cake competition to raise funds. We made a chocolate cake covered in smarties—full of colour and jolliness. It didn’t win…

  • Small Joys Matter

    Small Joys Matter More Than You Think: Why Happiness Isn’t What You’ve Been Told

    Sometimes I just go out for a walk. The sun comes out and it’s such a small thing. But it always lifts me and I feel happy.

    And I’ve been thinking about that—how we dismiss small joys as if they don’t count.

    So let’s let the small things matter.

    The Big Happiness Myth

    I used to think happiness had to be big. Achievements. Milestones. Life-changing aha moments.

    I’d look for it in the big things: promotions, holidays, major events. And when those things didn’t bring lasting happiness, I’d feel disappointed.

    Why wasn’t I happier? Why did the good things fade so quickly?

    But I was walking past small joys every single day and not even noticing them.

    The first coffee of the morning (I love a hot, milky coffee). The moment my son laughs at something silly. The feeling of clean sheets. The way light comes through the window at 4pm and catches on a hanging crystal.

    Tiny things.

    Except they aren’t tiny. They’re everything.

    What We’ve Been Taught About Joy

    We’ve been conditioned to think small joys don’t count. That happiness has to be earned through big accomplishments.

    But what if happiness isn’t one big thing, but the hundred small things we’re not paying attention to?

    For women over 50, this realization can be profound. After decades of chasing milestones—raising children, building careers, managing households—we often forget that joy doesn’t have to be earned. It’s already here. In the everyday. In the small.

    The Night Shift Biscuit

    Last week, I was at work during a night shift. It was going to be busy. And then a colleague brought in homemade biscuits. Just because.

    And when I was flagging, I took five minutes out, sat down and enjoyed one. Absolutely delicious, and I was so grateful to her. It mattered. And for those five minutes, I felt light. Connected. Happy. I thanked her. And I got on with my work.

    That five-minute break with a biscuit wasn’t “just a nice moment.” It was genuine happiness. The kind that keeps you going through a 12-hour night shift.

    Small Joys Aren’t Consolation Prizes

    Here’s what I’m learning: small joys aren’t consolation prizes for not having big happiness.

    They are happiness.

    The moment in the sun. The first coffee. The five minutes with a biscuit. The clean sheets. The way your body feels after a good stretch.

    These aren’t “nice moments while we wait for real happiness.”

    This is it. This is the happiness.

    What Are You Walking Past?

    Maybe you’ve been doing what I did—walking past small joys because you’re looking for something bigger.

    Waiting for the big thing that will finally make you happy. The achievement. The change. The moment when everything falls into place.

    And missing all the small things that are right here, with you, every day.

    The coffee that’s still hot. The text from a friend. The way your favourite song came on the radio at just the right moment. The clean kitchen after a long day. The feeling of finally sitting down.

    These matter. They count. They ARE the happiness you’re searching for.

    Your Practice This Week

    Notice 3 small joys every day.

    • The warmth of your tea
    • Something that made you smile
    • The way your body feels when you stretch
    • A text from someone you love

    Notice them. Name them. Let them matter.

    That’s happiness.

    Not someday. Not when everything is perfect. Not when you’ve achieved enough or fixed enough or become enough.

    Now. Today. In the small things you’re already living.

    I’d love to hear your thoughts. Leave a comment below or hit reply—what’s one small joy you noticed this week?

    With love and best wishes always, Susy

    P.S. What’s one small joy you noticed this week? I love hearing them. 💛

    —

    by

    Susy Rosemary
    in , , , ,

    Small Joys Matter More Than You Think: Why Happiness Isn’t What You’ve Been Told Sometimes I just go out for a walk. The sun comes out and it’s such a small thing. But it always lifts me and I feel happy. And I’ve been thinking about that—how we dismiss small joys as if they don’t…