Hello,
This week we’ve been talking about boundaries.
I wonder—have you made any new ones? Or started noticing which ones you have, or might need?
The Boundaries We Don’t Talk About
This week, my son has been off sick from school, which meant I couldn’t work as I normally would.
This was a different kind of boundary. Non-negotiable. My son needed me, and everything else had to wait.
But that same weekend, I did something unusual for me.
I went to a party. Yes, an actual party. For adults.
The Party I Almost Didn’t Attend
It was my best friend’s 55th birthday celebration—three hours away. A six-hour round trip, plus breaks.
Last year, I would have said, “It’s too far, I can’t go.”
But this year, I thought: We have ONE life. I’m going.
Which meant my 8-year-old son wouldn’t come. Which meant my husband would look after him.
This was a boundary I wouldn’t normally set. I had to think it through. I had to justify it to myself.
My son and husband would have fun together. They wouldn’t enjoy the long journey. My son would be bored at the party. And I wouldn’t be able to relax, catch up with my friend, and actually enjoy myself.
The Guilt That Almost Stopped Me
But here’s the thing: why did I find this so difficult?
The guilt of leaving him. The feeling of selfishness for not including them.
Yet I also deeply knew: I needed to see my friend. To chat, to laugh, to really catch up properly about how we both are.
For women over 50, choosing ourselves—especially when it means asking others to accommodate us for once—can feel almost revolutionary. The guilt is real. But so is the need.
What Happened When I Said Yes
And once I made that decision? Everything opened up.
I met up with another old friend I haven’t seen for years. We spent three hours in a café in lovely Marlow, just talking.
We’ve both been through rough times (haven’t we all?), and it was so good to be together.
At the party, I met new people—interesting and interested people. One woman takes three dancing lessons a week: two tap, one ballet. Another has just booked a walking holiday. Another recently started her own interior design business.
Making that one boundary—going to my friend’s party alone—opened up my world in unexpected ways.
And here’s the beautiful part: everyone had a great weekend.
The Power of One Boundary
Sometimes, setting one boundary creates a ripple effect you never expected.
That party wasn’t just about celebrating my friend’s birthday. It was about saying: I matter too. My friendships matter. My joy matters.
It was about choosing myself—not instead of my family, but alongside them.
And trusting that everyone would be absolutely fine without me for one day.
They were.
Your Turn
This week, I invite you to reflect on your own boundaries.
What boundary are you setting—or could you set—that might open up your world in ways you haven’t imagined?
Where are you holding yourself back to accommodate everyone else?
What would it look like to choose yourself, even just for one day?
I’d love to hear your thoughts. Leave a comment below or hit reply—I read every single one.
With love and best wishes always, Susy
P.S. If you’re constantly struggling with boundaries and the guilt that comes with them, you’re not alone. Reply and tell me about it. I’m here. 💛