Small Joys Matter More Than You Think: Why Happiness Isn’t What You’ve Been Told
Sometimes I just go out for a walk. The sun comes out and it’s such a small thing. But it always lifts me and I feel happy.
And I’ve been thinking about that—how we dismiss small joys as if they don’t count.
So let’s let the small things matter.
The Big Happiness Myth
I used to think happiness had to be big. Achievements. Milestones. Life-changing aha moments.
I’d look for it in the big things: promotions, holidays, major events. And when those things didn’t bring lasting happiness, I’d feel disappointed.
Why wasn’t I happier? Why did the good things fade so quickly?
But I was walking past small joys every single day and not even noticing them.
The first coffee of the morning (I love a hot, milky coffee). The moment my son laughs at something silly. The feeling of clean sheets. The way light comes through the window at 4pm and catches on a hanging crystal.
Tiny things.
Except they aren’t tiny. They’re everything.
What We’ve Been Taught About Joy
We’ve been conditioned to think small joys don’t count. That happiness has to be earned through big accomplishments.
But what if happiness isn’t one big thing, but the hundred small things we’re not paying attention to?
For women over 50, this realization can be profound. After decades of chasing milestones—raising children, building careers, managing households—we often forget that joy doesn’t have to be earned. It’s already here. In the everyday. In the small.
The Night Shift Biscuit
Last week, I was at work during a night shift. It was going to be busy. And then a colleague brought in homemade biscuits. Just because.
And when I was flagging, I took five minutes out, sat down and enjoyed one. Absolutely delicious, and I was so grateful to her. It mattered. And for those five minutes, I felt light. Connected. Happy. I thanked her. And I got on with my work.
That five-minute break with a biscuit wasn’t “just a nice moment.” It was genuine happiness. The kind that keeps you going through a 12-hour night shift.
Small Joys Aren’t Consolation Prizes
Here’s what I’m learning: small joys aren’t consolation prizes for not having big happiness.
They are happiness.
The moment in the sun. The first coffee. The five minutes with a biscuit. The clean sheets. The way your body feels after a good stretch.
These aren’t “nice moments while we wait for real happiness.”
This is it. This is the happiness.
What Are You Walking Past?
Maybe you’ve been doing what I did—walking past small joys because you’re looking for something bigger.
Waiting for the big thing that will finally make you happy. The achievement. The change. The moment when everything falls into place.
And missing all the small things that are right here, with you, every day.
The coffee that’s still hot. The text from a friend. The way your favourite song came on the radio at just the right moment. The clean kitchen after a long day. The feeling of finally sitting down.
These matter. They count. They ARE the happiness you’re searching for.
Your Practice This Week
Notice 3 small joys every day.
- The warmth of your tea
- Something that made you smile
- The way your body feels when you stretch
- A text from someone you love
Notice them. Name them. Let them matter.
That’s happiness.
Not someday. Not when everything is perfect. Not when you’ve achieved enough or fixed enough or become enough.
Now. Today. In the small things you’re already living.
I’d love to hear your thoughts. Leave a comment below or hit reply—what’s one small joy you noticed this week?
With love and best wishes always, Susy
P.S. What’s one small joy you noticed this week? I love hearing them. 💛