LIFE & MOTHERHOOD COACH FOR MAMAS IN MIDLIFE

Category: Letters

  • What Do You Actually Want? The Question Women Over 50 Stop Asking Themselves

    This was originally sent to my REDISCOVERY newsletter subscribers. If you’d like letters like this delivered to your inbox every Monday, you can sign up here on the side panel.

    How are you? I hope you’re well. It was big boy’s 21st birthday yesterday. We had lunch together — his dad and partner, their little one, my little one, one granny, one grandpa, and me. A separated family, still showing up together. There’s something quietly good about that. I’m so proud of my three children.

    I want to tell you about a question I asked myself a few years ago. And I’m asking it again today.

    It’s a question that appeared one morning, quietly, while I was standing at the kitchen sink.

    What do I actually want?

    What do I, Susy, actually want for the rest of my life?

    I have ideas. Vague but within my grasp.

    Life happens. Change happens — to you, or to others in ways that affect you. But underneath all of it, the question remains. What do I want? What do you want? Not for everyone else. For you.

    Here’s what I’ve learned before and I’m learning again.

    Identifying what you want isn’t selfish — it’s exciting. It’s an absolute necessity for your everyday life. You can’t build a life you love without knowing what that looks like. You can’t move forward without a direction.

    We’ve been needed — we still are needed. And there’s room for our own unique life too. It’s knowing what gives you that spark. It’s trying something new. It’s making headway toward that dream — once it’s formed, once you know what it actually is.

    The wanting is still there.

    I know this because the moment I asked myself the question — what do I actually want? — things started coming. Slowly at first. Then more clearly. France. Walking in the mountains. Writing. Building something that was mine, that I believe in. More honesty. More peace. More music. More adventure too. That’s the dream that is forming at the moment.

    It’s not that I’d forgotten what I wanted. It’s that life evolves. It changes, and when you do live one dream, you’re ready for the next one to take shape. And oh, that’s exciting. You’ve got to let yourself dream a little to let it all happen. You’ve got to give yourself that space.

    This week’s practice:

    Sit somewhere quiet – even five minutes – and ask yourself honestly:

    • What really is my dream? Without limits?
    • What have I kept putting off until “later”?
    • What do I want more of?

    Don’t edit your answers before you write them. Don’t make them reasonable. Just let them be true. Have fun with it.

    That list is yours. Let it evolve.

    If reading this stirred something — if that question landed somewhere — that’s the starting point. That’s exactly where we begin in coaching. Six sessions, just us, working through what you actually want and what’s been getting in the way. £397. If it feels right, just hit reply.

    Not ready for that yet? The REDISCOVERY Workbook lets you start in your own time, at your own pace. £27. [Details here.]

    With love and best wishes always, Susy

    P.S. What’s one thing you want that you feel excited about? Hit reply – I read every single one. And if your answer surprises you, that’s often where we start.

    💌 If this resonated with you, it might resonate with someone you know. Feel free to forward it.

    —

    by

    Susy Rosemary
    in , , , , , , ,

    This was originally sent to my REDISCOVERY newsletter subscribers. If you’d like letters like this delivered to your inbox every Monday, you can sign up here on the side panel. How are you? I hope you’re well. It was big boy’s 21st birthday yesterday. We had lunch together — his dad and partner, their little…

  • The courage to start again

    How are you? I hope you’re well.

    Monday’s email was about starting something new. Yesterday that was me, in a hard way.

    My sister and I cleared out my Mum’s things. She died in September, and we’d been putting this off waiting until the New Year…

    Mum was a great declutterer – she’d often say, “If you want it, have it!  I don’t need it!” – so she had very few possessions. Some clothes. A little jewellery. We went through everything in just a few hours.

    It was sad. But it was necessary. It was the beginning of a new era whether we wanted it or not.

    Some new starts can’t be avoided.

    Death. Divorce. Redundancy. Your kids leaving home. Your body changing in ways you can’t control.

    These beginnings are thrust upon you. You don’t choose them. But you have to start anyway.

    Other new starts? Perhaps we avoid those.

    Even when we know avoiding them costs us.

    We avoid starting because starting requires courage. It requires being a beginner again, admitting maybe we got something wrong and need to try differently.

    Starting requires being willing to be bad at something.

    I’ve started lifting weights. I’ve never done it before and I feel daft doing it.

    But I know that in 10 years, I’ll either thank myself for starting now or regret that I didn’t.  I already regret that I didn’t start earlier.

    So I bought some dumbbells and I’m doing 10 minutes three times a week. I’m not good at it, I just do it anyway.

    And that’s the point.

    Starting doesn’t require you to be good. It just requires you to begin.

    The question is:

    Are you avoiding starting something?

    • The difficult conversation you need to have?
    • The boundary you need to set?
    • The dream you’ve been putting off?
    • The small practice that would change your life?

    You don’t have to do it perfectly and you don’t have to know how it will turn out.

    You just have to take the first step.

    With love and best wishes always,
    Susy

    P.S. What’s the one thing you’ve been avoiding starting? Hit reply—I read every response.

    Ready to go deeper?

    If you’re ready to stop avoiding and start choosing yourself, I’d love to support you.

    —

    by

    Susy Rosemary
    in

    How are you? I hope you’re well. Monday’s email was about starting something new. Yesterday that was me, in a hard way. My sister and I cleared out my Mum’s things. She died in September, and we’d been putting this off waiting until the New Year… Mum was a great declutterer – she’d often say,…

  • What if 2026 is the year you stop waiting?

    I’m writing this on the first Monday of 2026.  The Christmas tree and decorations are all put away and there is a sense of freshness and clarity.

    So is it time to start afresh, to try something different, to finally do that thing you’ve been thinking about for months.

    But sometimes that idea can get squashed with the thought of…

    “Is it too late? What’s the point?”

    We’ve all played the waiting game at some point in our lives…

    Maybe you’ve been waiting to pursue something you put aside years ago.
    Maybe you’ve been waiting until the kids left home.
    Maybe you’ve been waiting until you have more time, energy, money.
    Maybe you’ve been waiting for someone to say it’s okay, go ahead, go for it.

    And maybe you’re tired of waiting.

    I spent a long time not prioritizing myself. Waiting until everyone else’s needs were met. Waiting until it wouldn’t inconvenience anyone. Just waiting.

    Until one day I looked around and thought: What am I waiting for, exactly? What magical moment am I expecting where suddenly it will be easier, less complicated, more acceptable to finally choose myself?  At this rate, I will never do what I actually want to do – learn French, live in France, go dancing, sing, love the clothes I wear, feel good about myself, start my own business…

    There’s no one who will tell you to stop waiting.   

    It comes from you.

    And it’s okay to start messy, imperfect, not know what you’re doing exactly, learn as you go.

    So a few years ago, I stopped waiting.

    Not in one dramatic decision, but in a series of small choices that gave me butterflies. I took my life coaching course (I loved it, it changed my life), when people said I shouldn’t be wasting money.   I started building this business slowly when people asked why I wasn’t just grateful to have a stable and rewarding work as a nurse.  

    I carried on because I knew deep down that I wanted to support women in a different way to how I support mothers who come to the neonatal intensive care unit.  I knew my new work in life coaching was important and worthwhile.  Because it was what I had needed myself and it had changed my life.

    Some people didn’t understand.

    But I carried on regardless.  My journey of rediscovery continued and in doing so, I improved my relationships, authenticity, my strength and joy. I started recognizing myself again.

    That woman who used to have dreams and opinions and a sense of what she wanted from life – she was still there. I’d waited so long that I’d almost forgotten who I really was.  But I’m back and it feels great.  I’m still on that rediscovery journey – I think I always will be because we are always evolving and I love it.

    So who’s permission do you need to be you? No-ones – just you.
    You don’t need perfect timing – there is never a perfect time.
    You don’t need anyone’s approval – you will always be judged so just go for being the true you.

    There will always be one more reason to wait. One more person who needs you. One more thing that should come first.

    But let’s face it, there’s never a socially acceptable time to prioritize yourself. When you’re younger, you’re needed – by children, partners, money to earn, aging parents to care for (and you truly are needed, and it can be beautiful, it’s not a bad thing).

    When you’re older, you’re expected to be grateful, be content with what you have and stop wanting more.

    There’s no magical window where everyone suddenly cheers you on saying, “Yes, now is your time. Go ahead. Chase that dream. Choose yourself. 

    You just have to decide it’s your time. And then start.

    Even if it feels too late (it’s not). Even if people are confused (soon they won’t be). Even if it’s messy and imperfect and you’re figuring it out as you go (that’s just fine – you won’t know the second step until you take the first step).

    This year, what if you just started on one idea that keeps coming back to you, that just stays with you?

    I’m not saying it will be easy. But what if this is the year you let go of the idea that “it’s not the right time”?

    Here’s something for you to practice this week:

    Answer this question honestly:

    What have you been wating to do but have let it sit on a shelf gathering dust?

    Write it down. Don’t edit yourself. Don’t make it reasonable or small or acceptable.

    Just write what you’ve been waiting to do, be, or become.

    Then ask yourself: What’s one tiny step I could take toward that this week?

    Not the whole thing or a perfect plan. Just one small movement in that direction.

    That’s the beginning.   Choose one thing and start anyway.

    —

    by

    Susy Rosemary
    in

    I’m writing this on the first Monday of 2026.  The Christmas tree and decorations are all put away and there is a sense of freshness and clarity. So is it time to start afresh, to try something different, to finally do that thing you’ve been thinking about for months. But sometimes that idea can get…